How I Accidentally Became the Thing That Annoyed Me

Lately, I’ve found myself in a bit of a conundrum. I’m at the stage of life where peace and kindness matter more than ever—and yet, that seems to be in short supply sometimes. The habit some folks have of talking over one another, teasing until someone reacts, or pushing buttons just to get a rise out of people—it wears me down.

More and more often, I quietly excuse myself and slip back to my apartment. I’ve even tried speaking gently, one-on-one, with a few people to let them know how their behavior affects others. As you can probably guess, that hasn’t made much difference.

When I moved into this apartment community, I imagined friendly chats, laughter, and the easy company of people my age. Instead, I often feel like I’ve landed back on the playground—just with older "kids.” It’s disheartening. I’ve known people who turned into those “grumpy old men and women,” and I’ve always promised myself I wouldn’t be one. As they say, good intentions.

The other day, I was visiting my sister. She goes all out for Halloween—think yard inflatables, lights, skeletons, the works. Me? I decorate a little for each season, but not for specific holidays. After years as a single parent doing all the buying, setup, teardown, and cleanup, I was perfectly happy to scale back once the kids were grown.

My dad was a big yard decorator, too, so I can see where my Sister gets it. Still, I couldn’t help but say something about how over-the-top it seemed—and I hurt her feelings. She truly loves it and believes people who drive by or stop to look enjoy it too. I wanted to roll my eyes. 

But later it hit me that her Halloween joy is the same as my joy in tending my flower beds. I spend money and energy on plants, dirt, and garden knick-knacks because it makes me happy. It soothes me. It’s my thing.

So last night, I asked my daughter to drive me over to my sister’s house (I try not to drive far at night). I made a point to tell her how wonderful everything looked. I took pictures, admired the lights, and said every appreciative word I could think of to compliment her work. It was my way of saying, “I get it now.”

Funny how life has a way of showing us our own reflection. The same behavior that bothered me around the Talk Table—the teasing, the judging, the little unkindnesses—was exactly what I’d done to my sister.

I’m learning that peace doesn’t just mean avoiding chaos; it also means catching myself before I add to it. I still wish my neighbors would be a little gentler with each other, but for now, I can at least make sure I am.

More later ... 

A Trip to the Tax Office (and Other Adventures with the Prom Queen)

Yesterday I took the Prom Queen to get the window sticker for her car. She turned 90 last month (yes—ninety!) and had been beside herself for weeks because she lost the statement from the Tax/License Department. According to her, this meant she’d surely be arrested and shipped straight to Siberia for driving with an expired sticker. 😂

We all get like that sometimes, don’t we? There’s something small we need to take care of, but the more we think about it, the harder it becomes to just do it. After hearing about this lost paper for a couple of weeks—and despite already telling her how to handle it—I went outside yesterday and found her still fretting.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. “Let’s go,” I said, “we’re getting this done today.”

First stop: the emissions test. (That’s what replaced the old “inspection sticker” here in Texas.) I took her to the place I usually go, not far away but outside her usual circle of travel. They were short-staffed that day, and since patience has never been one of my strong suits, I had to get out once to gently remind them that their “fast service” wasn’t exactly living up to its name.

Next stop: the Tax Office—the land of titles, tags, and license plates. I’ve only been there a couple of times in my life, but I knew it was going to be a long wait. And boy, was it ever! Two and a half hours later, we were finally done.

About an hour in, my blood sugar started to dip, so I asked the attendant if I could sit down. There were plenty of chairs—about 30 or 40—but most were occupied by young, able-bodied folks who didn’t seem too eager to give up their seats. The attendant did ask one couple sitting near the disabled seating sign to move to other available seats and the Prom Queen and I got to sit for the rest of the wait. But that’s a rant for another day.

Here’s where it gets funny (and a little old-fashioned): I came prepared. I had my water bottle, wore comfy clothes, and most importantly—I brought a book. While waiting, I looked around and realized I was the only person in the room reading an actual, physical book. Everyone else was on their phones.

I always keep a book in my car for “emergencies” like this—doctor’s offices, long lines, unexpected waits. Sure, I listen to audiobooks and read articles on my computer, but there’s still nothing like holding a real book in your hands, one you chose because it sparked your curiosity. There’s a richness to printed pages that screens just can’t match.

It’s a bit like going to church on TV while lounging in your recliner versus sitting in a pew surrounded by stained glass and familiar hymns. You might get the message either way—but one experience feeds your soul, and enables that Sunday-after-church nap that is your reward for getting up and getting there.  😄 (I'll save the formal religion rant for another time.) 

Anyway, we survived the Great Sticker Crisis of 2025, and the Prom Queen can now drive guilt-free. Mission accomplished with the help of a Book.

More later ... 

Sweepstakes Season and Fall Feelings

Sweepstakes season is in full swing now, and I feel the excitement - the thrill of the chase. Things kick off in late summer with contests that wrap up by the end of September—usually themed around Back to School. Think new clothes, supplies, a little extra cash, and all those essentials that are make-ready for the school year. Since I’ve got my Grand Girls still in school, plus a future granddaughter-in-law who’s a teacher, it’s extra fun to enter those giveaways with them in mind.

Now we’re rolling right into the Holiday, Fall, and Winter contests. The past couple of days I’ve been busy, busy, busy entering as many as I can. The trick is balancing your time—because honestly, it takes just as long to enter for a little trinket as it does for a dreamy trip somewhere fabulous.

On the home front, I keep daydreaming about decorating with pumpkins in my little garden patch, but the thought of critters and bugs helping themselves has held me back. For now, I’m enjoying my indoor fall decorations—my cozy fall coffee cups, family photos, pinecones, and a sprinkle of autumn touches here and there.

I’d love to go thrifting this weekend to peek at all the fall and Thanksgiving treasures that have hit the shelves. But truthfully? I don’t have room for one more thing! Decorations are like long-sleeve shirts around here: I love them, I sometimes buy them, but in this Texas weather, I don’t exactly need them.

Cozy, colorful, and just a little bit lazy—that’s fall around here. 🍂

More later ... 

Table Talk and two Small Wins

First little happy dance moment: I scored my first win for my daughter in a sweepstakes! 🎉 Coca-Cola–Dansai was giving away FIFA prizes, and while she didn’t snag the grand prize (an all-expense-paid trip to New York for the Women’s Soccer Finals), she did win a team scarf and a small item. Since J&M sometimes go to Dash games here in Houston, I know they’d have loved that trip, but hey—it’s still a win, and in her name for the first time. She was thrilled, and that made me happy too.

On my end, I won a Christmas food-and-craft book from Goodreads. Looking forward to flipping through that one!

Now, Table Talk updates:

The Chef packed up and left. Long story short, the management company misplaced his certified rent check and tried to charge him $250. He showed them proof, and instead of apologizing they dropped it to $30, claiming it was still late. 🙄 Shirley, if you’re reading this, I know you’ll get a chuckle (or an eye roll) at that “management style.” I’ll miss him—he was a good one.

But I’ve got a new neighbor on the other side now! I’ll just call him NN (for “new neighbor”). He still works but has joined us at the table once, and he fit right in. Quiet, polite, easygoing—I think he’ll be a great neighbor.

The Mechanic, poor guy, has been through it. After months of not feeling well and endless doctor visits, he was finally diagnosed with stomach cancer. They tried treatment, but it’s Stage 4. He’s still up and moving around, but it breaks my heart. Such a nice man.

As for the Marine Lady… whew. She continues to test everyone’s patience except the Prom Queen and King. She recently found three kittens on her doorstep, and because she doesn’t drive, she’s been leaning heavily (i.e. demanding) on others to solve the problem. I’ll admit it—I ducked out when she asked me to drive her across town. I told her to call shelters, but they were all full. One by one, people tried to help, but she made it difficult. Wouldn’t give the kittens to one couple because they already had pets, made demands of the volunteer who tried her best, and on and on. Eventually, Prom Queen found someone who could take at least one. I’m not sure if all the kittens are placed yet, but at least some found homes. We probably sound like a pack of heartless witches, but honestly—Marine Lady hasn’t exactly charmed the crowd. Still, the kittens deserve care, and it reminded me of when I found Buddy 14 years ago. The shelter told me to “come back in three weeks.” Yeah, right. He was mine for 14 years.

I’ve also decided to rename another neighbor. I used to call her the Talker, which she is, but now I’ll call her Detroit—since she just moved back from there, and she’s become such a wonderful friend. She, Prom Queen, and I spend hours chatting outside. She’s always cooking (so good!) and feeding us. I think I’m gaining weight, but people tell me I look thinner—probably muscle loss, who knows? Either way, I love her cooking.

Meanwhile, Prom King is wrapped up in not one, but two “romances” with women he met through accidental phone calls. He swears he checked them out through some service, but I worry he’s being scammed. I’ve seen it happen before, and it’s hard to join in his happiness. To make matters more complicated, his dog Tiger (the same one who once bit me) has been growling and charging at people again. But then this week, he got a haircut from a neighbor, and suddenly Tiger seemed calm and subdued. Go figure. Prom King’s been busy sprucing up his apartment for a visit from one of his “ladies.” I guess we’ll see how that plays out. Part of me hopes she’s real and kind, but… an 83-year-old man and a 38-year-old “rich, beautiful” woman? Hmm.

As for me and Bonnie Rae, we’re doing fine. Trying to live within our means and eat well. Except for the one time I left a plate of red beans and rice with a piece of chicken on the side table. A neighbor called me for a ride, and halfway there I thought, “Nah, she won’t touch it.” Well… she did. Poor girl got so sick—threw up and had diarrhea for days. She’s better now, thank goodness, and back to her happy self. And she’s nearly doubled in size! 

More later ...